Naruto One-shots
by Karkatsbabe
Summary: Morticia paired with various different characters from Naruto. [Previously called "Naruto Drabbles"]
1. Info

So I got the idea to have Morticia paired with more than what I'm doing for the crazy Naruto fic I'm writing for her.

I want you guys to tell me the character you want to see her paired with.

It can be human, animal, biju, and myth from Naruto.

Human is the ninja and civilians.

Animal would be like a summons that can talk or has a pretty good character going for them.

Biju would be the tailed beasts.

Myth would be the Sage of the Six Paths, his brother, his two kids, and his mother.

I don't care if your character is male or female, it just has to be a canon character from Naruto.


	2. Jiraiya

**Suggested by ****_Tsundere-Kandere(Guest)_**

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**The First of Many Yes'**

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* * *

He felt so nervous. This wasn't the first time he had asked someone on a date, and if it went badly, it wouldn't be the first time was rejected. It didn't quite make sense, but then neither did the girl he wanted to ask out.

_Woman. _He mentally corrected himself. _She's too old and beautiful to be a girl._

While it was true that he had a crush, it was more like unrequited love, for his teammate he had finally accepted that they would never be. Tsunade simply wasn't in love with him in the least bit. It was true that she loved him, as a teammate, a friend, and more like a mother than anything else, but she wasn't in love with him. She loved Dan, a man who was long dead and she would never get over him.

"Hey, Jiraiya-chan!" called the woman he had wanted to talk to, hanging upside down from a tree branch. Jiraiya was so startled that he let out a yell and fell back on his ass, his face a bright red to match his facial markings. "You'll hurt yourself if you think that hard for too long."

"You startled me there!" He sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, a habit he had picked up from Minato and Naruto. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to tell you that Orochi-chan is looking for you because he heard that you had moved on from that farming village he was supposed to meet you at and had somehow got thrown into Kumo's T&amp;I." Morticia said with a cat like grin on her still upside down face. That smile, along with her wolfish one, always made his heart flutter in the oddest ways. "He's pretty sure that you didn't go to T&amp;I, but the other has got him pissed. I would try to hide in Ame if I were you, and I'll even go with ya to tell him that I can't find you. Sounds like a pretty solid plan to me, what ya think?

"Sounds good to me!" Jiraiya liked being sane, which would come undone if Orochimaru found him while the snake was pissed. "I'll just get my stuff from the hotel."

"You don't need to!" Morticia said as flipped gracefully to the ground. She tossed a small scroll at him and he caught it out of reflex. "Got all your things right there."

"Thanks."

**.0.0.0.**

_It's now or never. _Jiraiya thought as they entered Ame, which looked a lot better than when he last saw it.

"Morticia-chan, would you mind g-going out with me on a date?" He wanted to slap himself, he just sounded like those cliche teenagers asking out a long time crush to a dance that didn't mean jack shit.

The silence that followed his question was deafening, he couldn't even face her.

_If she says no, well I can always act like a fool and say it meant nothing. _The thing he always did, even when he was hurting so severely inside he always tried to make others smile.

"Really? Well, sure. I haven't been on a date in a while and you're a pretty awesome person." The breath that he had been unconsciously holding came out so fast it left him dizzy. "Although for us to get into a more serious relationship I would have to kill somebody. You don't mind it staying at dates, do you?"

"Not at all!" Jiraiya was so enthused he almost missed that part about killing somebody. Almost. "Where would you like for our date to be at?"

"Why not here in Ame? I think a nice homemade meal with some sake would be nice."

"Great idea. Where should we stay?" Jiraiya peered around at the few inns in the small town they were in.

"My place." Morticia said simply.

"Isn't your home in Konoha and next to Orochimaru's?"

"I have more than one residence, Jiraiya-kun." He felt his heart flutter at the new name.

**.0.0.0.**

She laughed at the tears of joy and disappointment running down his face comically. He had just found out that she had a small hot springs on her little plot of land, which she said they could use after dinner, but the catch was that neither of them could be naked. The upside was he could see her in a swimsuit, the downside was that he couldn't see her naked. The upside was that he could see her wet in a swimsuit, the downside was that he couldn't see her naked and there would be no "petting."

He could live with that, for now.

"This room is your's while you stay here." Morticia pointed to a door painted green with white clouds on it. She then pointed to the end of the hall, the door was black and had, what he assumed were, the nine Biju in a circle with two dots in the center, one lavender and the other red. "My room is that door. You can ask for anything you need whenever. But no sneaking in to come play."

"Fine." Jiraiya said sullenly, much to Morticia's sadistic amusement.

"Good." she said. As she walked by him to go downstairs, she reached up and placed a kiss on his cheek, causing the sannen to _blush._

**.0.0.0.**

Dinner was delicious and the sake refreshing and added a warmth to their bellies. The fire near by giving a just right atmosphere, giving off just enough heat to make the couple cuddle closer to each other. It was decently romantic, it was a calm time. They would tell each other jokes and laugh softly, each telling the other of various tales of their shinobi careers.

When they finished their meal a clone was sent to take care of the dishes and they each went to get a swimsuit. Everything needed was placed in a large bag and they walked together through the rain, Jiraiya holding the umbrella and smiling, to get to the hot springs.

"Turn around." Morticia said when they reached the hot springs, which had a roof over it to keep out the rain of Ame, as she handed Jiraiya a towel for later. She laughed softly at the pout on his face as he complied. She quickly stripped down to her two piece and hopped into the water. "You can look now."

The toad sage whipped around so fast it was amazing the momentum didn't carry him for a couple dozen more. His eyes almost bugged out of his head and his nose started bleeding.

"Close your mouth and get in here already. It's a little bit lonely." The last was said softly, face tilted down slightly to look through eyelashes, and shoulders hunched ever so little to help emphasize her breasts. The bikini top also helped, showing more than what she normally would but not everything, even though everything was outlined.

Jiraiya jumped up and dived in head first, his clothes falling off to leave him in a pair of faded red trunks with a toad pattern on them. He came up and shook his head like a dog, getting cooled off water everywhere.

"Heh, I can't believe that I don't normally wear bikinis." she said as she stretched her aching muscles, ignoring the sound her companion was making. Until she turned around and saw that he was drowning.

She hefted him out of the water, layed him flat on his back and pressed her ear to his chest. She smirked at what she heard.

Well, she did like a bit of hilarity every now and then.

"Don't you dare die, you sexy bastard!" A slap to the face and then compressions on the chest. She was doing her best to not laugh. "We just started dating and I will revive you just to torture you if you die."

Right after she said that she pressed her lips to his for a kiss and he wound his arms around her before she could pull away.

"So what kind of torture would that be?" Jiraiya asked in a husky voice after he pulled back for air.

"Well, I would say the fun kind, but that's a little over done." Morticia watched as he started to look nervous. "I would definitely say the pleasurable kind."

"Nice." he said as he scooped her up and sat both of them in the hot water, her in his lap. "I always did like most of your ideas."

"I know."

They sat in a comfortable quiet for a few minutes.

"So," Jiraiya started. "I'm sexy?"

She gave him a mock glare and lightly slapped his chest.

**.0.0.0.**

"Orochi-chan!" Morticia called when she saw her favorite snake summoner. Orochimaru turned and gave a slight smile.

"Did it work?" Orochimaru asked.

"Sure did! I don't know why it took him so long though." she said in exasperation.

"Of course it worked. I don't see how a plan made by the two of us wouldn't."

"Yep." she said, a glint coming into her eyes. "You want to help others get with the one they love?"


	3. Kurama

**Suggested by ****_(Guest)_**

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**We Go Way Back!  
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* * *

"You want to see the Kyuubi?" Naruto asked in a voice that was utter confusion. He eyed the woman in front of him warily.

"Yep!" Morticia chirped cheerfully, ignoring how the Uzumaki looked at her like she was crazy. Which she was, but that was beside the point. "He and I go way back."

"Seriously? You look like you're twenty!" he exclaimed with wild hand gestures. "How the hell could you go 'way back' with the Kyuubi?!"

"I'm one of the Anbu that took care of you when you were nothing but a little squirt, pay me back by letting me talk to him."

They stared at each other in a stalemate until Naruto cracked.

"Fine!" the blond yelled as he threw up his arms. "How do we do this?"

"Just bump fists with me." Morticia said as she held out fer clenched hand. "I'll take care of the rest."

"Whatever." the boy grumbled under his breath. He connected his small fist to her larger one and was sucked into a dark tunnel, rusty metal pipes of all sizes lining the wall and the floor had two or three inches of dirty water covering the entire floor. Curious he started toward the lighter end of the creepy tunnel.

"**What do you want, runt?!**" yelled a deep, masculine voice. Naruto was startled to hear that voice that he had only heard a few times before.

"Is that the way you talk to _me_?!" Naruto recognized that as the weird lady's voice, matching the Kyuubi's commanding tone. He entered the large room just as the fox registered who was in front of him.

" **. . . Morticia? . . . You're alive?**" Uzumaki Naruto might not be good at telling others emotions, but he could tell that the Kyuubi no Kitsune was feeling hopeful and large amounts of disbelief.

"Sure as you're sealed into the kid I took care of." Morticia said, a cheeky grin on her face while had her hands on her hips.

"**Real, you're real?**" the dark orange demon asked quietly as he lightly pawed at the bars.

"Of course I'm real." Morticia said, still grinning, and crossed her arms. "After all I remember when you were just separated from the Juubi, you were so cute then. The tears that you would cry all the time . . . "

Naruto had no idea why she shook for a few seconds, nor why the demon's face turned darker. He did know that he was about to wet himself when their eyes locked on him.

"Uh, dattebayo?" he scratched the back of his head nervously. One of the looked murderous and the other was giving him one hell of a gimlet stare, one that made him feel like the temperature kept dropping.

One moment he was being intimidated and the next everything was black.

Kurama chuckled at the way his old friend, he wanted more but she had to kill his uncle first for some odd reason, knocked out his jailor. The three moves she made with her arms preventing him from seeing, hearing, and being conscious. He always did like how she made everything look easy, especially when he was young and Hagoramo had just died.

He missed his old man, but he also knew he was kind of roaming around as a ghost/thing to look after the reincarnations of his sons. The original God of Shinobi was really complicated.

"So, have you gotten over the shock of seeing your soon to be mate?" she asked after she put the blond brat to the side. The Kyuubi no Yoko was stunned, and reluctantly hopeful.

"**Mate? You'll be my mate?!**" Kurama felt so happy. The female that he had admired since he was split from the Juubi.

"Yes! I finally killed Hamura, so nothing is in my way to be with you."

**.0.0.0.**

"Ah!" Morticia jolted up from her bed, sweat rolling off of her from the strange and frightening dream. "What the _fuck _was that?"

"What's wrong?" her flat mate asked. He stood drowsily at her open bedroom door.

"Everything is fine, Iruka. Just a nightmare." She felt so gross right now, a shower would also help to forget that large amount of strangeness she thought up. "I'm going to take a shower so you go back to bed, if I remember right, you have a date with Anko in the morning."

"Yeah." Iruka straightened and yawned. "Are you sure you're okay?"

"Yes. Go back to bed." she said, relieved when he left. She thought about that strange dream. Apparently she had been watching too much anime before bed again because she some how manifested her boyfriend into a giant fox demon that lived inside his nephew. Was she thinking of Naruto before she fell asleep? She might have since he was a cute kid but where did the bit about Kurama being sealed inside him come from? That killing thing might have stemmed from her uncle but really, what the fuck? "Whatever, brain hurt. Shower."

**.0.0.0.**

"Hey, Kushina, have you seen your brother around lately?" Morticia asked her fellow fighter. The red head was a power house like her husband and brother, and her son wasn't that far behind.

"Ah . . . no. I haven't seen him in a couple days." she paused from punching to take a drink of water. "I think he went to visit the family shrine, I could be wrong though, dattebane."

"I miss the big oaf." It hadn't helped that the weird dream was also still circulating through her mind.

"M-Morticia-!" Both girls turned to Kurama come rushing through the door to the gym, he was completely out of breath and was bent over clutching his stomach. "I h-ha! I wanted to asked you s-something. Oh God, I need to run more!"

"And what would that be?" Morticia asked, exchanging an amused look with Kushina. They watched as the male slowly made his way to them, he was still out of breath, and then got down on one knee and pulled out a velvet box.

"Would you marry me, and move out of your apartment that has a heterosexual male that isn't me in it?" Kurama said, opening the box to show a simple sliver diamond ring.

"Yes and I'll work on it." A smile came over the red haired man, lighting up his face from the usual scowl and smirk.

Neither was prepared to be tackled by Kushina into a deadly bear hug.

"My idiot brother finally asked you to marry him!" Kushina squealed in a pitch that had the other two cringing. They were given one more squeeze before being dropped to the floor. "I have to tell Minato and everybody!"

" . . . Well, this will spread faster than wild fire."

"Yeah." he agreed with his girlfriend-just-turned-fiance. His sister had a way of being a blabber mouth worse than any old lady with nothing to do. "So, about you moving . . . "

"I need to tell Iruka and find someone that he can share the rent with." Of course she could just buy the building and charge him what he paid now. "Maybe Anko will finally get to live him, and Kurenai will finally live with Asuma!"

Kurama sweat dropped at his love starting to play match maker again.

**.0.0.0.**

The wedding was a private affair turned public convergence. It was originally only about twenty people or so, but somehow turned into over five hundred people, most wanting to the two top fighters in the city get married. Thank God they had planned an outdoor wedding to begin with.

Morticia, surprisingly, wore a white dress that only went to her knees and actually showed off her curves instead of hiding them, her hair left to sway in the light breeze instead of in the buns she used everyday. Kurama was wearing a black tuxedo that looked like it had blood stains on it, and his long red hair was pulled into a low pony tail instead of his usual high one.

No personal vows were exchanged, just a kiss that made everyone that could see it blush. Except Gaara because he was trying to relearn emotion after an incident with his uncle and the twelve year also hadn't hit puberty yet.

When Morticia tossed the bouquet, aiming it while she did it, Anko was the one that caught it. She blushed and looked like she wanted to fall into a hole while Iruka was redder than a tomato and happier than ever.

Kurama whisked his wife away right after the ceremony, he had waited five years and he wasn't wasting another moment, leaving everyone chuckling.

**.0.0.0.**

"Hey, momma," Kuroki, their second child and only boy said as he was helping his mother fix dinner. She was forty two now and was enjoying being domestic.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"How did you and daddy meet?" he asked innocently.

"We met when I was twenty five and he was twenty three."

"I didn't ask _when_, I asked _how _you and daddy met." the boy clarified.

"Uh, that's a story for when you're older." Morticia couldn't look at her son. "Like when you're twelve or thirteen."

"But I'm seven!"

"When you are older." she said firmly.

"Fine."


	4. Genma

**Suggested by _Karkatsbabe_****_(Author)_**

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**A Challenge Between Rivals and A Tiger  
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* * *

"My most Youthful and hip rival! We shall have a contest to see who should get a kiss from the most beautiful Lily of Konohagakure!" Maito Gai shouted to eternal rival, Hatake Kakashi.

"Hm, you say something, Gai?" Kakashi asked lazily, not looking up from his black book. This new author he found was quite something. He still couldn't wait for the Gama Sannin's next book, but this was a good way to pass time.

"Kakashi, you once again prove to be too hip!" Gai shouted, he hardly ever did any other volume when in his home village, at Kakashi while genjutsu flames were behind him. Gai's attention was drawn by a person nearby. "Ah, most Youthful Lily! How has this most beautiful day been for you?"

"It has been very nice, Gai-kun." came the smooth voice in response, catching the Hatake's ear. Where did he know that voice from? "I see that you are trying to talk to Kakashi-san."

"Indeed! Youth just gushes-!" Gai's shout was stopped with a hand.

"You know I will not be around you if you shout like that, it hurts my above average ears." At this Kakashi looked up, only to see the woman that was the Anbu captain before he ascended to the position for team six. She didn't look any older. Perhaps she like Senju Tsunade, or she just aged rather well. "Talk like a normal person, wait, use cheerful civilian volume."

"Sorry, most beautiful Lily. I was just telling my rival that we should have a contest to see who could win a kiss from you! You would pick what we would do and the winner would get a kiss bestowed upon him as a reward!"

"I don't see a problem with that." Morticia said. From Kakashi's view, this was way too calm for a woman to be about this sort of thing. He had a feeling that the task would be grueling. "Give me two hours to think of an acceptable challenge. Meet me back here."

"Yosh! Until then I will run one hundred laps around the village and if I do not succeed-"

"Gai-kun. No." her voice was firm and commanding. "Relax while I think because I may come up with a physical hardship."

"Yes, I will read that book you gave me." Gai said, still being his flashy self. "I shall see you in two hours!"

"You will be on time, or I will hunt you down, Kakashi." Thank the kami-sama he had two decades of shinobi training, the ice in that tone could turn the most hardened of people into statues. It caused his Anbu training to kick in.

"Hai, taichou." Kakashi said with his back straight, arms at his sides, head forward and feet together.

"Good." Morticia's voice curled through the air, like smoke. When the silver haired jonin looked around, she was gone.

**.0.0.0.**

Two hours later, both of the jonin and Morticia were back at the meeting place and she issued her challenge.

"Find the author of this book." Morticia held up a black book with silver writing of the cover. "I know the writer of this book and they are in Konoha at the moment. You have until dusk to find them. Good luck."

Gai ran off shouting that he would win while Kakashi was somewhat stumped. She had used a gender neutral term when referring to the writer, not even a clue from that.

"Well, it wouldn't do to let Gai get ahead by two points." He lazily wandered off, thinking of where to find this mysterious author.

Only the ravenette noticed the other presence that was listening to them.

**.0.0.0.**

The trio met at dusk, on top of the Hokage Monument. Or mountain, both worked.

"Have either of you found the person?" Morticia asked as she sat in seiza while enjoying a cup lilac tea. "Would either of you like some tea?"

"I found nothing." Kakashi said. Not even his contacts could name the author/authoress.

"I have also not found this youthful person! Tea would be most wonderful!" Gai sat cross legged across the sole woman as she made a cup appear with a flick of her hand. Both men were entranced as she elegantly poured the drink.

"That would mean that it was a tie."

"Not quite." said a new voice. Tora, the ANBU member not that demon cat, stepped out of the shadows. They all knew who he was, and no one else was around, so he removed his to show the senbon touting jonin.

"So you found them? Who is it?" Morticia asked calmly, sipping her tea without a care.

"You." Genma said. The rivals snapped their heads to the woman who wore a wolfish grin.

"Nice to know people can pick up clues when they're obvious."

"What clues?" asked the rivals at the same time.

"You were both reading it, she held it close to her like it was precious, and her surname is the pen name." Genma answered. He said it like these things were plain as the daylight shining on Hokage Mountain and the First Tree. "So, about that reward . . . "

Before any of them could blink, not even a nano second later she was in front of the brunet and pulling him into a passionate kiss. It lasted five seconds and when she pulled away, Genma was punched across the clearing.

"It's not nice to intrude on someone elses contest without permission. You should know this by now."

"Hai." Genma said then started coughing up blood. "That was totally worth it, could one of you please take me to the hospital? I think Morticia broke a few of my ribs and ruptured a lung."


	5. Dark Naruto

**Suggested by _Karkatsbabe_****_(Author)_**

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**When She Dies  
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* * *

Through all these years, all of these stupid fucking years, he had stood by and acted as if nothing bothered him. Everyone in Konoha was afraid of him. Jiji, Iruka-sensei, Teuchi and Ayame, even the team he was assigned on. Outside of the village thought he was a useless idiot, or something to be used.

He was sick and tired of this bullshit.

One person, only one person had ever made him feel normal. _She_ was dead now, he had seen _her_ die before his eyes two days ago. _She_ was what had kept him here all of these sixteen years. Now, he felt broken and enraged for the others letting her die.

He would make them pay.

He knew just where to start.

**.0.0.0.**

The Anbu never knew what hit them. He simply used fuinjutsu, something _she_ had taught him, on each of their pieces of armor. He knew it took one full week for the entire Anbu forces to do a full rotation so he made the seals attach to the masked members. Because even if they were on leave they had to suit up and report in once a week. The seals would suck out the chakra from whatever they were attached to and anything in a ten meter radius. They were, in a sense, remote activated. All he had to do was focus on the seals and release them.

Next came the civilians and almost everyone else. He just used what _she_ taught him. He poisoned the water reservoir, all lakes and every stream within a twenty-five meter radius of Konoha. It was a slow acting poison, undetectable and couldn't be boiled or cleansed by even Tsunade or Sakura. _Her_ poisons were the best the world had to offer and even more. They would all think that a stomach bug was going around, but they would die in two to three weeks.

He didn't particularly punish the Academy students, _she _loved children, but he had heard them spouting the shit their parents and grandparents told them about him and _her._ A few simple seals on all the walls, they would explode when he made the Anbu drain dry.

On the sixth day after _she _died, he sat in his rundown apartment. He sat with his back to a wall and cried and cried and cried and _cried._ He slashed his wrists, watched as they healed, and slashed them even deeper.

"_**SHE IS ASHAMED OF ME**_" is what he wrote on the wall, using the large puddle of blood he had created. He knew _she _was, he was doing what _she _had told him not to, he was killing without discrimination and assassinating a whole village. _She _told him to never snap like _she_ had done so long ago. _She _was the reason Uzushio had fallen, _she _helped until an enemy had undone a seal that kept _her _sane. After that all of them started fighting _her_, it became a three way battle with all but _her _losing.

_"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine._

_You make happy when skies are grey._

_Please, don't take my sunshine away."_

He could still remember the song _she _always sang to him.

"Don't worry, I'll free you." he murmured brokenly to his tenant, the fox had never said anything bad about _her_. "I'll free you before I die. I promise."

**.0.0.0.**

Extracting Kurama was painful and it made him pass out.

Naruto awoke to _her _cradling his face gently, looking at him with sad eyes. He had to have been dreaming, _she_ died in front of him while he was mere feet from saving _her._

"Oh, Naruto." Morticia whispered quietly, brokenly. "You silly boy, I told you I would be back in a week. Why didn't you listen to me?"

"You died." Naruto said in the same voice, reaching to touch her face. "I miss you."

"I'm here in front of you and you can't even tell." she said softly. She glanced sky ward to see the giant biju staring down at them with deep sadness in his red eyes. "Kurama, thank you for watching him for me. I'm sorry I couldn't get here sooner."

"**It's fine. I am sorry I could not prevent this.**" he gestured to the burning village, a village he swore to protect for her after he had almost destroyed it sixteen years ago.

"It's okay." Morticia said as tears starting to run down her alabaster cheeks. "Just, please, stay with me and him."

Naruto saw the blurring mass of red-orange make a nodding motion. He was losing the feeling in his limbs and the pain in his stomach still felt like fire but was slowly receding. Everything was starting to feel cold, not even the burning heat from Kurama made him feel warm anymore.

"C-can you sing for me?" his throat felt so dry and there were black spots in his vision. In the roaring sounds of fire he heard a gulp and felt a light weight something run through his hair.

_"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine._

_You make happy when skies are grey."_

Naruto felt everything slipping away from him, but he could still hear her haunting voice.

_"Please, don't take my sunshine away."_

* * *

_**Author's Note~**_

So I have been reading a lot of Dark!Naruto stories lately. This is what happened. I don't know if I should be ashamed or not.

Well, at least I regret nothing.


	6. Minato

**Suggested by _Arianna Le Fay_**

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**Wandering Mind of Mine**

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* * *

Minato loved his wife, more than he loved learning or Konoha, but there was always a distant figure in the back of his mind. A woman similar to Kushina, yet as different as day and night.

The woman, he had forgotten her name after so many years, was part of the reason he got a crush on the fiery red head. He remembered her as his caregiver when he was younger, barely toddling, and he knew that his feelings for her memory were . . . unconventional. He knew it, and that made his feelings all the more tempting to succumb to, but he was a man that put the past behind him to look forward to the future.

**.0.0.0.**

He saw her again when the kyuubi was pulled from Kushina, stopping the claw about to kill his newborn son. He watched with horror as she coughed up blood, a fatal wound that no one could survive from. He watched as the giant fox seemed to be horrified at what it had just done, but he forced himself to complete the sealing of the sentient chakra into Naruto. He took half of the kyuubi with him to the shinigami's stomach, leaving a small piece of his soul in the seal, the last thing he saw was the woman healing Kushina while she was bleeding out.

**.0.0.0.**

Minato was disoriented but happy when he was called to help his son. Telling that little knucklehead how the seal worked was fun and it gave him time to bond with Naruto. After he got a punch from said son. The boy punched like he was used to demolishing mountains with barely any effort.

"So since I was a kid I've had mom and Morticia to help with my ninja skills, they put me through the ringer quite a few times!" Naruto said with a smile that was soft and full of memories. "It's because of them that I can almost do that seal you were famous for! Ero-sennin taught me the rasengan and I can almost add my wind chakra to it. Kakashi-sensei thinks that I can almost be considered a prodigy, but the only people that agree with him are mom and Morticia."

"Who is Morticia?" Minato found the name to be awfully familiar, but couldn't put a face to the name.

"Oh! Just a sec." a few handseals were made and in his son's place was a painfully familiar, pear shaped woman named Morticia. "She looks like this!"

Minato felt his expression falter, and his hands sweat as his heart felt relief and a weight the equivalent of a biju. The woman his heart had been after for years, his mother figure, was alive and raising his son.

Best not to go onto that tangent, it left his body starting to harden in the most embarrassing of ways.

"She's the one that saved Kushina on the night you were born." the older blond hesitated for a moment. "How are they?"

"Well, Morticia is fine. She rejoined Anbu after I became a chunin." a puff of spoke and the image of his wife stood before him. "Mom looks like this now, her hair got cut to her chin when she was on a mission in Iwa but it's grown to her waist. She retired when I started to date Hinata-chan."

"You're dating a girl? What's she like?" Minato asked, amused when his son started blushing like it was going out of style.

The conversation derailed from there, catching up and the seal were talked about.

He didn't ask about the two women he loved after that, just knowing that they were alive and well was enough.

**.0.0.0.**

Minato actually stumbled when he was brought back via Edo Tensei, also he was startled to see the other three Hokage as well, and Senju Tsunade sitting in the Hokage seat.

"Why are we here, Orochimaru?" Tobirama, the Nidaime, demanded.

"All of you are here to help this war." Tsunade said. "I ordered him to bring all of you back, I'm sorry to disrupt your peace, but this dire! All of the nation's have allied together to stop Madara and Zetsu."

All of them were stunned when she got to her knees and bowed to where her head was touching the ground.

"Please, help us defeat him! Half of our forces have already been taken out." Tsunade pleaded. "Please help us!"

Needless to say they all agreed.

It took moments to get to the battle field. It was chaos, worse then any war that the Hokage had ever been a part of.

Minato focused, using his title of sensor type to locate his son, and dashed in that direction.

It was mildly surprising to find his son, wife and mother figure facing off against Madara, but knowing the first two's personalities it was _only _mildly shocking.

"Mina-chan!" Kushina shouted across the expanse from where she was kneeling. She rushed over to him and he met her in the middle, holding her tightly. He pulled back when she tried to kiss him.

He couldn't do it when the other woman he loved was there and alive.

"Dad!" Naruto shouted in warning, letting Minato grab Kushina and jump out of the way of a wayward fireball.

The battle was a blur, jutsus were thrown around like candy, curses rang through the air, a few people died, the "Eternal Tsukuyomi" was prevented, Madara was killed with a lot of effort, and Morticia killed the black side of the plant guy.

She then danced by his corpse/stain on the ground and shouted some things in various code languages from all the villages. Then, the loudest shout of all, "I'm gonna get laid tonight!"

**.0.0.0.**

They stayed alive for a week, making sure that Madara was _actually **dead**_, unlike the _first time._

"Listen to your motor mouth mother, and Morticia." Minato told his son as the jutsu was close to being cancelled. "Hinata is always right, even when she's wrong she is _right. _Always apologize after a fight, ramen is not an every meal type of food, try to not go drinking with Gamabunta because you'll get so smashed that you won't know anything until you wake up in a different country with a still drunk toad summon."

"Yeah, that kind of . . . already happened . . . " Naruto said sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. Hinata giggled from her spot next to him, Minato's son had good taste.

"Bye, Mina-chan." Kushina said quietly, gripping tightly to Minato's Hokage cloak, the one she had stitched for him.

"Bye, Kushina-chan." he said while hugging her back, he still couldn't kiss her. He felt he was being unfaithful to her, even though he had done nothing, and he could barely stand to face her.

"Goodbye, Minato-chan." Morticia says from her spot on the wall, leaning against it with one leg propped up. It was a seductive pose, one that he forced himself to look away from.

"Goodbye everyone. It was great to meet my future daughter in law, and I'm glad I got to see all of you one last time." he says to his small family. At that moment he feels the link that held him to this world get cut, like a flimsy ribbon with a pair of sharp scissors, and he feels the slight tingle as his body starts to turn to dust. Minato turned to Naruto. "Happy birthday, Naruto. I'm glad I got to see you on your eighteenth year."

He falls completely apart after the last word, embracing the darkness.

**.0.0.0.**

Minato is shocked, scared, and horrified that he is turned into a baby. It takes him a few days to calm down enough to realize that he has been reincarnated, probably anyway.

It doesn't take him long to learn the new language, English was what his new parents called it, because most of it had been used as a code language in Konoha. There are no indications that there is trouble brewing anywhere in this new world, so he takes his time with learning how to walk and other such things.

His parents and teachers call him a genius when he enters school, it's simple since all he had to do was understand the new way to write numbers and words. Although by the time he is in middle school, and this was revelation was so shocking he couldn't do anything or think for a few hours, he finds out that he is popular with the female students. He finally understands how most of the Uchiha felt, and he knew that these girls were _very _toned down compared to the budding kunoichis from his world.

He gets labeled as "asexual," which was something he had to look up, and all he can think is that these people are not Morticia and not even Kushina.

In his first year of high school he passes a small section at a book store and the title _Naruto _catches his eye. He picks it up and is slightly horrified, and then mortified at what he reads. He ends up buying all the books and watching everything of the anime and movies. If there is one thing he still remembers about space time manipulation, and he remembers a good deal of his other life, it's that you never step completely backward or forward, you always go to the side a little. All that he saw and read, that is what would have happened had Morticia never been there, had so many small things not changed. It leaves him depressed yet, at the same time, uplifted because she _had _existed.

At the age of twenty-two, in his final year of college, he accidentally bumps into a woman with black hair to her hips, deep eyes of grey, and a pear shaped body.

If there is one thing Minato knows, it's that a step is never taken fully in front or back, but always to the side.

* * *

_**Author's Note~**_

I hope you like this. Minato has Oedipus Complex in this fic, it is where you are in love your mother/mother figure. If you want more information on that just click the first wiki link when you google it.


	7. Tobirama

**Suggested by _Karkatsbabe_****_(Author)_**

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**Phantom Lovers  
**

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* * *

The air was stifling with the over powering perfume of noble women, all of them dressed in a flashy manner to attract a suitor or play thing. The men were dressed in suits and tuxedos, trying to gain attention.

Iruka didn't like the parties his parent's hosted. It was always uncomfortable and formal. He usually holed himself in the library as soon as he could slip away. He hadn't enjoyed reading when he was younger, but after learning to hide from his parent's guests he had found a love of it and now he was going to be a teacher.

The library was one of the warmer rooms, the atmosphere felt comforting, like meeting a beloved grandparent after not seeing them for a long time. The walls were covered in books and the tables had books open and piled. No one ever really went in this room anymore, only Iruka.

Iruka picked an old tome from a shelf, he had never read it before, and sat in a soft leather recliner. The book turned out to be a journal that used to belong to a man named Senju Tobirama. That was a peculiar name, but Iruka was of Japanese descent and couldn't really say what was wrong with it.

He opened it to read.

**.0.0.0.**

_**December 5th, 1886**_

_The clan was throwing another party. I don't see the point, everyone in this country despises us because of our ancestors and origins. I wish I could continue my training but, this stupid country, doesn't see ninjas as a "noble" occupation. All of these "noblemen" are slouches and urchins of the lowest regard._

_Hashirama says to be more polite, and to write in this stupid journal, but I don't see the point to such meaningless things. I'm going to try for him anyway.  
_

.

_**January 26th, 1887**_

_I finally found this idiotic thing, it took almost two months. How the hell did it get into the stables? It doesn't matter.  
_

_The last party we hosted was for a fellow family of nobles. Their daughter to more specific. She looked like the type to be a noble, all of the beauty and none of the brains. It turn out that she hates these formal things as much as me, which is nice. At first, I thought that she didn't appreciate what her parents and family were doing for her and feigned slight illness to get away from her obligations as the guest of honor, but she dislikes crowds and prefers open spaces. I have to agree with her since the women and men of this country wear too much fragrance to mask their body odors._

_I escorted her to the gardens and we walked under the moonlight with only the night animals and the faint music to keep us company. We talked for a little while and I found that she isn't some stupid woman that would prattle about unimportant and unintellectual topics. She's quite knowledgeable, even about combat! She knew every move and technique I spoke of and even offered me ways to improve. She is a strange woman, but I can see tolerating her presence._

_._

**_February 1st, 1887_**

_I met Morticia again, only it was at her home this time. Our parents were talking business, her shipping company could help our spice trade. We walked through the gardens at her home and sat beneath the weeping willow tree. It over looked a koi pond, which was very surprising, and when I said such she told me that she had it placed when she twelve. Japan has always fascinated her, even after her traveling there a few times, and she wanted to have a piece of it with her at all times.  
_

_I found that she is fluent in five languages, English, Japanese, German, Russian, and Latin. She also has a penchant for writing. After our travel in her garden we went to the library and she showed me some of the books she had written. She let me borrow the ones she wrote in Japanese since I would have an easier time reading those, and she wanted to see if I could find an error._

_._

**_March 2nd, 1887_**

_The first book was captivating. The story of a samurai falling in love with a female ninja was one I had never read before, and probably won't ever again, it was astounding. The amount of detail was not over done and the emotions were just as one would expect from people denied such emotions. I find that I can relate to Kaede for his love of Hanako because, I fear, that I am starting to feel the same to Morticia._

**.0.0.0.**

A couple brought Iruka from the journal, making him jump at the noise. Seeing as the two hadn't noticed him from their lip lock, he quickly fled to his room. When he opened the door he could have sworn that he saw a tall, white haired man sitting on his bed reading a letter, but the man was gone when he blinked.

"Strange." Iruka said, paying it no mind. He sat on his bed and continued to read, a little further than his previous spot.

**.0.0.0.**

_**January 23rd, 1888. Morning**_

_I have planned a picnic for Morticia and I, both of us requesting to spend time away from our families since we wanted to spend her birthday together. I have already asked her parents, they tend to try to agree on things of importance, for her hand. My stomach won't settle, it feels as though there are little creatures fluttering in it and I can't remember a time that I have been so nervous, not even when I asked Morticia if I could court her.  
_

_She seems fond of me, she has even initiated a few of our kisses, so I am sure she will say yes. If she does not then I will ask if I can ask her again when her feelings develop more, or, and I dread this, she tells me that she doesn't feel for me the way I do for her. I would understand, but I would be crushed._

.

_**January 24th, 1888**_

_Morticia told me yes! I have never felt so happy. It feels like I'm floating and at the same time I feel anxious. I know what happens between men and women, I can hardly imagine doing such with Morticia but we both wish for children.  
_

_It's not that she isn't attractive, quite the opposite. Her hair is a beautiful black that reaches her hips, her gray eyes shine with emotion and knowledge, her skin is a creamy white and her lips are a red that could put a rose to shame. It's hard to see her figure in the dresses of this country but I'm told that her figure can be associated with a pear, good birthing hips supposedly._

**.0.0.0.**

Iruka wondered about this couple. It seemed like they had like, if not loved, each other a great deal. A relationship that had blossomed in one year, was that the normal thing back then? Iruka had always read that most of the noble marriages were loveless and usually for getting the upper hand on other nobles. These two must have had something unique and pure if this journal was true. It was nice to see something so true, even if second hand from a journal one century old.

Come to think of it, how did the journal end up in the library? Iruka's parent's had only bought the mansion a few years before having him, close to twenty years, and he wondered if this was the Senju mansion, or could it be Morticia's? What even was Morticia's last name?

As Iruka pondered this he walked to the garden, taking the familiar path that he often walked. He noticed a weeping willow, had that always been there? The bench under it was cast iron and looked old. The area in front was worn and, for a split second, he saw a beautiful woman holding hands with the man that he saw in his bedroom. He blinked and they were gone.

"Have I eaten anything weird?" Iruka didn't think he had, but why was he seeing the couple from the journal? Actually, what did Tobirama look like? "Ah!"

Iruka groaned from his place on the ground. He lifted himself up a bit and looked forward. And then he looked to his sides. _Where the hell was he?_

"What did I trip over?" He looked back and saw the edge of a something black sticking out of the ground. When he tugged on it, it came out out of the dirt without a problem. It was the size of a small shoebox, an old metal version. Inside was several old letters and a purple book. "_Morticia Olivia Butler_? Is this her name?"

The letters were from Tobirama. The oldest were just to keep in contact since their friendship was shaky and new. The topics were different for each letter, but mundane things, riddles, weapons/combat techniques and flower meanings were in all of them.

There was one that was from Morticia and had been returned to her. It asked about Tobirama's business trip to England and if they should have there wedding in March or April. A piece of paper, obviously not part of the original that was sent, was folded in with the letter.

" _'Tobirama Senju, accountant of Senju Spices and Botanical Gardening, has been hit by a runaway carriage and is in the hospital in critical condition. It was requested by the patient, when he was conscious, to inform his fiancee that he is in the Royal London Hospital recovering.' _" Iruka read aloud. He scanned it again. The hospital logo was on the paper and it hurt to look at. They hadn't even been married yet and Tobirama had a near fatal, if not fatal, accident. Their romance seemed like it was taking a turn for the worse. Poor people from a different century. "That's awful."

It was.

This couple seemed to have found each other purely by chance and had a heartfelt romance that was probably one of those ones that was hard to look at because love just flowed in their every movement.

With these thoughts in mind he flipped to a random page in the purple diary and read.

**.0.0.0.**

_**July seventh, 1888 (**_**Tanabata_)_**

_I'm not quite sure when I started to love Tobirama. I've always had fond feelings for my little turtle, even when he accused me skipping out and being an airhead. It took him a few months to stop talking about weapons and martial arts, which are a fun topic but not what a friendship should be based off of, and finally talking about more personal matters._

_I don't know why I like reminiscing about my life since I met Tobirama, I think that more than half of these pages have something written on them that involves him somehow._

_While his colors are drab, even compared to the rest of the Senju, I like the simplicity of his style. I love his white hair and bright red eyes. He has a few scars on his face but the just make him even more attractive, and he's decently tall. He's also curiously cold, temperature wise.  
_

_Today my turtle is taking us for a small picnic, just the two of us, to celebrate the meeting _Orihime _and _Hikoboshi. _His clan is also holding a small festival, but he wanted us to sneak off and be like the two lovers. I like the idea. We may not have a magpie bridge, or the Milky Way, but I think we can bridge any gap that comes between us._

**.0.0.0.**

Iruka had to stop ready for a moment, those statements made it hard to read. He could literally feel the love coming from them and see the soft expression on Morticia's face as she wrote the entry.

He couldn't force himself look back at the words, unlike with Tobirama's journal, this felt too personal. The very letters of the words were too heartfelt.

He got up from the ground, dusted off, and wandered further down the path. He didn't know where he was heading and he didn't care. If he got so lost that it took him days to get back home . . . well, he still didn't care.

A little further down the path there was a small pond with lily pads and few blooming lotus flowers. He looked up at the full moon. It was a very romantic view, and he decided to pull out his phone and play a song that was heartfelt with a tinge of sadness.

Iruka pushed the play button and waited calmly for _A Kiss From A Rose_ by Seal to start playing. He might not be a huge Batman fan, but he had liked this song that was on one of the movies.

After the first few notes the shadowy figures of two people started to materialize. In moments the figures showed to be what was, probably, Morticia and Tobirama. They danced slowly to the music for a few minutes before heading past the pond and into a small path in the forest.

Iruka decided to follow them.

_But if they start to be intimate I'll leave them alone. _Is what the aspiring teacher thought as he followed. A few minutes of walking lead to a small clearing, where the couple held hands and smiled sadly at each other before shimmering out of sight.

Iruka looked at the ground where they had been standing, something was there but it was covered with grass. He moved closer to see stone sticking out of the ground. He crouched and did his best to clear away the overgrown vegetation. He was slightly shocked at what he saw.

A double headstone, and a smaller one next to it.

_Morticia Olivia Butler Senju_

_Born January 23rd, 1867_

_Died August 11th ,1892_

_In memory of a daughter, wife, sister and mother to a child she died giving birth to.  
May she rest peacefully with her siblings._

Iruka felt sick. He had tears budding in his chocolate eyes at the news that she had died in childbirth. But hadn't that been a fairly common occurrence back then? It hurt to see this, even if he hadn't been the one to love this mysterious woman.

He looked to the other inscription on the other side of the grave.

_Tobirama Senju_

_Born February 19th, 1865_

_Died August 20th, 1892_

_In memory of a son, husband, brother, and father.  
This proud man is said to have died of a broken heart after his wife and then daughter died within days of each other.  
A man who can love so fully that he dies from being separated from his wife and child is a man that all can look up to.  
May he rest peacefully with his wife and child.  
_

Iruka was silently crying at this point. These two had been separated in such a way was heart wrenching. He did want to look at the tiny gravestone next to their's, he knew it would be the baby girl that had only lived a few days.

He forced himself to, he had to know the name of the child that was an outcome of such a love.

_Obana Michoyo Senju_

_Born August 11th, 1892_

_Died August 13th, 1892_

_In memory of a daughter that hadn't had a chance to live.  
She was brought into the world when her mother gave her life to see the babe had a weak constitution and did not live long enough to be the light in her families eyes.  
May she rest in peace with her mother.  
_

Gut wrenching sobs were coming from Iruka, loud and painful. He never knew these people, but he felt the loss of them as if it was his own.

He was too kind hearted to have found this sort of thing.


	8. Orochimaru

**Suggested by _Karkatsbabe(Author)_**

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**Snakes and Wolves  
**

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Inspiration:

_"Rather Be" _by Clean Bandit

* * *

He met her when he was little, barely a year old. He can hardly remember it, since he was still in diapers, but he will forever remember how she held him. So warm, comforting, softly, and without flinching. He remembers how she had smelled, like spring flowers and warm blooded canines. Her moves were even more graceful than his mother's, his mother the strong kunoichi, and her voice had a resonance to it that was even more comforting than her hold on him. He fell asleep in her arms, even though he only did that with his mother and her snake summons'. The feeling of being in one of the safest places on Earth was too much of a draw for his young body.

His mother and Morticia, as he later learned her name to be, went on many missions together. Most of it Anbu work, some of it simple escorts with his mother's genin team.

By the time he was three, so long ago that seems, the Hebi clan had dwindled from two small families to just him and his mother. It was just after he entered the academy, he was four, when his mother went on a suicide mission. Orochimaru had cried for days, barely consoled by the woman his mother had said would take care of him. Even now it makes his throat tighten and moisture come to his eyes. It wasn't until a month after that that he found the reason for her taking the mission, his mother couldn't live without his father. His father may have been simple stock from Kiri, average in appearance and a mediocre ninja, but his mother had loved that simple man dearly and had waited until he was enrolled in the academy to choose her fate.

He can, somewhat, appreciate that now. It's better than finding her still body, cold and with the wrists cut or a sword sticking out of her stomach.

Such thoughts remind him of his current love, Hatake Sakumo, and how that fucking idiot was about to commit seppuku. If Orochimaru had been even a second later, and Sakumo's resolve hadn't wavered for a nanosecond . . . it was just as painful to think about. He had broken his lover's wrist to get the tanto out of his vise like grip, and had punched him in the face before holding him tight and telling him he was a bastard and that he should never consider such a thing since he had a man who loved him and little Kakashi.

Kakashi found them still holding onto each other, both silently crying and more emotional than either had ever been before.

Orochimaru doesn't regret his choices in life, choices of others but never his own. He regrets that the woman, the _only _woman he is in love with, will never perceive him as a man and not the child she has taken care of for years. He regrets letting Sakumo argue, and winning, that he can do the mission by himself. He regrets that he has always seen Morticia as a woman instead of as a mother figure, despite that he says she is.

He is content, and happy most of the time, with his life. As long as he knows Morticia is in the world, and in Konoha, he can go on with the life he built from rejection.

However, the moment she leaves Konoha for good, he is convincing Sakumo and Kakashi to follow her with him. He doesn't need to convince Anko of anything, he tells her they are leaving and she asks how much she should pack. His apprentice is entirely too loyal, but she has grown on him in the years he has taught her and he now views her as a daughter.

* * *

_**Author's Note~  
**_

I love Orochimaru, if you look at how his life has been then you will realize that all the shit he did had a damn good reason. That poor snake bastard, he's had a hard life, and he deserves some good.

Despite being inspired by a song, and listening to that song while writing this snippet, I don't think I did the song or Orochimaru justice.

Please, tell me what you think of it.


	9. Madara

Suggested by _Arianna Le Fay_

_._

**Overruling**

.

Inspiration: I don't fucking remember, I was thinking about _Underworld _and something about how the origins were wonky in the movie. Then it went circling to vampires and how Morticia wouldn't deal with a bullshit Council or even an Elder.

* * *

Morticia paced the spacious study, pissed beyond belief, and silently fuming. Her bonded watched warily from his wing back chair by the fire.

Madara gave up, with a deep sigh (somebody had done something to call down the wrath the Black Death, he hoped this didn't backlash in any way), after ten minutes of her just getting angrier and angrier.

"What did the Council of Elders say this time?" he asked. It was no secret that she hated, loathed more like, the current council.

"Those bastards want me to kill Yurei! I am the oldest vampire in existence, and they lord over me that they are the oldest _purebloods _alive." He slunk lower as her gray eyes turned bright crimson, the color a vampires eyes turned when overly emotional, and the air chilled to where he could see every breath taken. "I should go kick their asses for what they _**demanded!**_"

"Yurei?" That name wasn't familiar to him.

"Oh, yeah." Morticia stopped pacing and put her hands on her stomach. "You know how doctors report to those bastards? Well . . . I'm hunting for two now."

"Two . . . I'm a father?" It takes a moment to hit and when it does (it hits like a hammer to an egg) the look of shock, fear, and happiness on his face is priceless. "But we've only been together for five years, doesn't it take at least a decade?"

"Yes and normally." she says as she went over to him, a small smile on her lips.

"I'm a father." Madara says while in a daze.

"And I a mother." An actual mother instead of raising children that weren't hers.

She sat on his lap and he absently put his arms around her. They sat in silence, with the crackle from the hearth as the only sound. Until Madara opened his mouth.

"Wait, who said you get to name our first born?" Madara asked.

"I did." she said simply. "I _am _going to give birth to him. I thought since I must bear the pain that I get to name him."

"Ah . . . " was all he could choke out, looking away from her sugar sweet expression. She was terrifying when her voice practically dripped from all of the sweetness she put into it.

**.0.0.0.**

Morticia walked around the streets, searching for a meal.

What the hell was wrong with humans? Most of them thought that a _bite _from a vampire could turn them into one, or sucked out their soul. While there were creatures that sucked out a persons soul, it sure wasn't vampires, and a bite didn't do anything unless it was a were-animal or a demon doing the biting.

She was behind a stone monument, to vampire slayers, when she saw a man eating a sandwich. She scented the air, finding his blood to be sweet and unmarred. No alcohol, drugs (not even prescription drugs), or tobacco running through him. The man had un-diagnosed diabetes, hence the sweet smell to his blood, just the way Morticia liked her humans.

A brief sweep of his mind showed that he was completely, in more than just this park, and was down on his luck. A small mental nudge had him finishing what was left of the small meal and checking his phone, more for appearance than anything else. After a moment she walked around the statue, she did love it since her mother and father were supposedly depicted in it, and greeted the human. She made him act as if he had been waiting for her, did the whole friend-meeting-friend scenario, and led him to his house. It was neat and immaculate on the inside, except for a corner where holy water and other religious items had been placed.

That was pretty damn ironic.

Morticia took his hand and led him over to the couch, straddling him after pushing him onto it. Her arms wind their way around his broad shoulders as she leans in and bites his neck. She shivers, the taste just as she had smelled, and sends him her pleasure via mind link. She loved sweet blood, even more so after she became pregnant, it was what she had been craving. Sweet blood and watermelon, why she craved those two things is beyond her, Tsunade said it was from a nutrient deficiency.

When she was finished she licked the bite to healing it and numbing it, and she gave him a few hundred dollars. She was filthy rich after centuries of centuries of wise saving and stock investment, her morals didn't allow her to take and then not give back. For this reason she picked the ones that needed help, but were also clean, unless she read that they wanted a change. Not that she would do that since she was pregnant, that could prove bad for the baby.

Morticia cleared his memories of this meeting, putting a vague one night stand and finding the money in a cubby hole in his house. As she was walking out the door, she turned back and gave him gave the suggestion to visit his doctor. She turned around and walked back to her home with her bonded, Madara.

Vampires hated being associated with were-animals, particularly werewolves, so they called their life mates their bonded instead of mate. Morticia didn't care, hell, she _almost _became one. Might have preferred it, but then she had met Madara . . . she still might choose to be a werewolf with how vampire society has been going down the drain. She could already shift into three other forms other than her current one (signs of a strong and old vampire), along with shifting her face muscles to look demonic, but the Council just made her want to be another species.

_**Bastards.**_

Morticia stills when she opens the door to her house, the strong scent of aged blood, vampire blood, hits her with so much force it almost knocks her over. She pales at the thought that this blood is Madara's, she's almost dizzy with fear.

"Madara?" she calls out, trying to keep her voice calm and failing completely.

"Kitchen." he calls back. She rushes to the kitchen, accidentally using vampiric speed in her haste and almost smashes into the back door, making skids marks on the tile in her effort to stop. She was close to being in a frenzy by the time she spots him by the fridge.

Madara is _soaked _in blood. Some spots his face, matting his hair as it dried, and every inch of his clothes was covered in it. Drip, dripping to the cold tile floor. Morticia feels faint.

"Are you hurt?!" So much blood, she feels dizzy and faint. Black spots dance in her field of vision from all of the sudden stress. Pregnancy does not mix well with whatever has happened here.

"No." That's all he says.

"That's a relief." she says as black overcomes everything else, the floor rushing up to meet her.

"Morticia!"

She lost consciousness.

**.0.0.0.**

Madara sat by her side, head in his hands, bent forward. Tension in his every muscle.

He looked up at her pale face a cold cloth on her forehead, to her curves, to the barely there bump where their child rested. He realized when he was willing to do anything for his child, Morticia's child. When he saw the look of pure happiness in her eyes as she told him everything they would need to take care of little Yurei. This is, perhaps, a week ago.

So . . . he killed all seven of the Council members. Madara wasn't going to let _his child_ be killed. He loves little Yurei, despite not meeting or even feeling the baby kick, almost as much as he loves Morticia. Losing this child would destroy her, something he iswilling to do his damnedest to stop.

"Ugh." He snaps to attention at her groan.

"Morti-" he pulls back, barely dodging a punch that clipped his nose, and her arm goes limp again. "What the hell?"

He leans over again, thinking her to be more awake now and less likely to hit him, and this time her fist connects with his temple.

She awakes when he hits the floor.

"Fuuuuck . . . " her head hurt. Bad. She wallowed for a few minutes, until she remembers fainting, and quickly sits up.

Morticia forces down vomit and swings her legs over the side of the bed. She looked down when her feet hit something other than floor.

"Madara?" she asks in confusion, then she saw the side of his face. Heat suffused her cheeks. "I can't believe I hit you. Dammit. Damn fool, you know better than to reach for me while I'm unconscious."

Although that had never been a problem when they fell asleep in bed together, partly because she knew he was there and partly because the house smelled like a mix of them both. The house still smelled of aged blood, making her uneasy. Her body basically went by instinct when she was unconscious, hitting and attacking anything deemed unfamiliar. And for her to have done it to him now . . . she like shit for it.

With a sigh she grabbed the collar of his shirt, now free of blood, and slapped him a couple of times. (Okay, so she's not exactly a demure housewife. She's more prone to physical violence when angered, unless it's a child. She's essentially everything a man is warned about, spiteful and full of vengeance, with a small side of man hate.) He sucks in a sharp breath and opens his eyes.

"I had the weirdest dream. I killed the Council of Elders, you passed out, you punched me out, and . . . slapped . . . me . . . " Madara looks down, blinked, and gaped at his shirt fisted in her hand. " . . . Okay. All of that was real. Real . . . oh."

He passes out and she drops him like a hot potato.

"You idiot." Morticia says, not as biting as it should probably be, exasperated by this whole ordeal. "Well, the next few months should be interesting."

**.0.0.0.**

**Three months Later**

Morticia sat with her face in her hands, Madara was stunned, Obito was chipper, Itachi didn't quite believe this was happening, Shisui in the same boat as Itachi, Yahiko was laughing hysterically, and Tsunade kept murmuring about there being no alcohol for this bullshit.

The seven of them had just been sworn into the new Council of Elders.

"Fuck my life." Morticia groaned. "I don't fucking need this while I'm pregnant."

She was in the last few weeks of pregnancy, vampires were only pregnant half as long as a human, and looked like she could pop at any moment.

Since times were changing, and time was a bit of a foreign concept to vampires, the strongest ones had been chosen rather than the purebloods. Morticia, Yahiko, Obito, and Tsunade were Turns, some recently and some a few thousand years ago. Morticia and Tsunade, being the only females on the Council, were both pissed about being voted into such responsibility. They were close to four thousand years old, Morticia was possibly older than that but had long since lost count, and didn't want to deal with every petty issue a vampire thought to bring before the Council.

"Well, at least my doctor is by my side." the ravenette said, patting the blonde on the back.

**.0.0.0.**

After four weeks of dealing with things the previous Council had put, a lot of bullshit to be honest, Morticia went into labor and Tsunade kicked everyone out of the Council room. The blonde ordered her medical assistant, Shizune was never far from her side, to fetch a few things while the other Council members (mainly Madara) paced out in the hallway.

"She will be fine, uncle." Itachi said. "She is strong and healthy."

"Yeah!" agreed Shisui, Yahiko, and Obito, putting in their two cents.

"I know." Madara said, running a hand through his thick hair. He still worried, after all, because even Kaguya The First had almost died in childbirth.

After thirty minutes a scream rang out, and the four men had to hold Madara back from the door. Another scream doubled the desperate man's efforts.

"IF I SEE THAT BASTARD I'LL FUCKING KILL HIM!" Madara paled at Morticia's shout. "I'M GOING TO RIP OFF HIS DICK AND MAKE HIM CHOKE ON IT AS I GUT HIM!"

He went limp.

After what felt like an instant, but might have been longer, he was shook awake.

"Dude, wake up. Yurei's been born." Obito told him. "The Lady Medic informed me to wake you since you fainted like a little girl five hours ago."

It took him a moment, the message sunk in slowly, but he quickly got his feet and ran into the Council room. He saw his bonded holding a bundle to her chest, laying on a futon with thick covering her.

"Come look at our son." Morticia said softly, completely sweet and innocent when only hours ago she was willing to maul and kill him in the most painful way she could think of. He approaches on unsteady feet, holding in a breath, his emotions in a frenzied whirlwind. "My little Yurei."

Madara set his eyes on the babe. Short hair of ebony, pale skin, swirling mercury eyes set in a cute baby face, little hands curled into fists waved at him. His heart was melting at such a beautiful sight.

"My son," a reverent whisper, a blessed murmur. He reaches out, gently taking the squirming bundle, cradle the baby to his chest. "Yurei, hello. I'm your father, Madara. I promise to do everything I can for you."

"Well, I think the world is going to end some day soon." Tsunade said from the side, completely breaking the moment. "She made the same promise as you."

None of them noticed the gleam in the swirling eyes of Yurei.

* * *

_**Author's Note~**_

So I had this completely written out, in a notebook that I lost for quite a few months, and then found it and started typing it up yesterday. I have embellished it a bit (a fucking lot) from what it originally was.

Yurei means ghost.

As for calling Morticia the Black Death at the beginning . . . well I had thought to put in how she was scourge of the supernatural community, or at least had a reputation of killing all of her enemies.

Just clearing some things up.

I really like this AU, I might make another one-shot that expands it a bit.

Which reminds me of a question; HOW I AM GOING TO MAKE HASHIRAMA FALL IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN THAT KILLS JUST AS MUCH AS SHE SAVES?! I DON'T FUCKING KNOW! ! !

OTL

orz

Halp!

**EDIT!: FIXED THE CHAPTER**


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